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Being Present and Talking
Learning
to be present internally—to
be the wordless state of
presence—often
begins with being quiet externally, by
talking less. For instance, talking less
often, less rapidly, less forcefully,
and for shorter periods of time. Such
efforts, accompanied by divided
attention, increase our
ability to promote and prolong presence.
This is what Mr. Ouspensky’s protege,
Rodney Collin, was referring to when
he wrote, “It is extraordinary
what doors the abandonment of talk, or
words, seem to open.”
Words and expressing ourselves through words have an
especial tendency to obscure presence. For one thing,
words give form to the many
‘I’s and externalizing them in talk
adds to their weight. Suddenly, the spoken word
seems more substantial than wordless presence, to the
point that it overpowers divided attention.
As Robert
Earl Burton, founder of the Fellowship of Friends, has observed, “The more you speak,
the less possibility you have of actualizing what you
are speaking of, because speech has a tendency to displace
reality.”
This is also true of internal talk, which
is a fence that some of us hide behind without knowing
it. Although we may not be outwardly talkative,
our inner talk and reactions can displace
presence as much as, if not more than, external talking.
In this regard, the Sufi, Al-Antaki, advised: “The
most harmful time for speech is when silence would
be better for you, and the most harmful time for silence
is when speech would be more fitting for you and more
necessary.”
About external talking in particular, Mr. Ouspensky
said, “We
talk and talk and talk, and never really notice it
because it gives us pleasure and fills our time. Trying
to avoid useless talk—this is work on being.”
And it includes talking about the work. As
Mr. Burton has said: “When you begin speaking
about the system,
you must be careful because you will begin rambling
and lose self-remembering.”
He has also commented that, “The instinctive
center likes to hear the sound of its own voice,”
referring to how the intellectual
part of the instinctive center will use talking
to lure us away, and keep us away, from presence. It
will do this even when someone else is speaking, by
interrupting them
with the imagination of
our own inner talk.
To value and prolong presence while talking, we have
to go beyond the urge to express and defend and justify
ourselves with speech, as well as beyond the need
to hide behind silence. In both cases, we have to
remember the significance of self-remembering: that
neither internal nor external words are presence itself;
that functions are
not consciousness;
that we are asleep whenever
talking and not talking occur by themselves, without
divided attention.
There are also some useful methods (in addition to
the ones listed at the beginning of this article) for
promoting presence while we are talking. One method
is to introduce work
‘I’s before speaking. For example: “Speak
with presence.”
“Value presence more than words.” “Listen
to your own voice with divided attention.” Establishing
presence at the start is the best aim, but it is also
possible to catch ourselves in mid-sentence and insert
a work ‘I’ internally: “Come
back.” “Be here when you speak.” “Don’t
sacrifice presence.”
Another method for promoting presence while talking
is to minimize our physical movements. For instance,
not to overly sway our body, move our head, or gesture
with our hands. The purpose is not to be rigid with
these movements, but to monitor the moving
center’s tendency to distract and displace
presence.
This also applies to the instinctive and emotional
centers which often work together to obscure
presence; for example, with extreme facial gestures
and tones of voice, or with expressions of criticism,
sarcasm, and wit. These may seem like small things,
but if you observe closely you will see how they boost
imagination and displace presence.
As the Sufi, Abu-Bakr, said, “Silence is not
confined to the tongue, but concerns the heart and
all the limbs.” And as Robert Burton teaches,
“Try to be present when you speak, and when you
finish try to be present in silence. Presence in silence
prolongs self-remembering.”
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We offer a series of free introductory lectures
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1
An introduction to the system
The system is ancient, objective
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The microcosmos man can transcend
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Schools use precise methods for awakening
2
The four lower centers
(requires lecture 1)
How the lower centers function
How the lower centers displace presence
Using lower centers to reach higher
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3
Promoting and prolonging presence
(requires lecture 1 and 2)
The steward and intellectual parts
of centers
The instinctive center as the ‘mind
behind the machine’
Specific ways to promote and prolong
presence
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Bronze angel. Collection of the Fellowship
of Friends.
Thoughts on presence
and talking
We
say a good deal too much. If we limited ourselves
to what is actually necessary, this alone
would be keeping silence.
George
Gurdjieff
Passing
time in chatting and laughing is one of the
most mechanical things.
One man may be able to resist everything except good
food; another all except talk.
Peter
Ouspensky
Loose
talking always has bad effects—most of all
upon those who talk.
Rodney Collin
When
you look around without words, you prolong
a state without words.
You also have to guard against groups of ‘I’s
that have a history of displacing self-remembering.
Robert Earl Burton
The
highest state is beyond the reach of thought.
Upanishads
Avoid
gesticulation in speaking.
Chilon
The lover of silence draws close to God, and God reaches out to him, and enlightens him.
John of the Ladder
The
first step toward spiritual freedom is to
control the mind, to stop idle chatter, to
keep silent.
Buddha
Do
not talk unless your talk means something.
Ibn Arabi
Shh,
no more words. We are beyond words.
Jalaluddin Rumi
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